I found the lump on a Thursday night in the shower. A nighttime shower was unusual for me, because the twins typically fight sleep, and I almost never get time to myself at night until late. But it had been a hot Indian summer day and a long day in
Last January sucked for me... I was so sick and I just finished chemo. This January, I have been ok, but last weekend, sweet little Margaux woke up on Saturday and had a fever to 102. She settled in on the couch with her milk just after waking and within
I guess I should be throwing confetti and blowing those gazoo-thingy blowers they hand out at kid birthday parties. I can tell you, I didn't celebrate at all. It had been a long week of being on call, and then a hair party that flopped and then a 36 hour
I read somewhere the other day that when someone gets the diagnosis of cancer, it serves as this powerful "existential slap". Most of us don't consider the possibility of dying in our every day lives. Cancer comes around and there it is, on paper... this THING that is shouting at
It is November. It is unseasonably cold here. Usually, before Thanksgiving, we still have warm days and cool nights and we don't really need jackets. We have had hard frosts and the leaves on the trees are clinging only by their dried up stems, waiting for a firm wind gust
I am in a funk… Mornings are difficult and I can barely get everybody dressed without tears from one child or another… Or myself. I inevitably forget to bring down the socks or feed the dog or fix the children breakfast. I press snooze one ( 8!) too many times every
It is a blustery day and I am on call, at the hospital, on a Sunday. I have kids waiting at home and we should bake something and I should finish the laundry and clean up the dining room table and we should all go outside for a walk and
How is it possible that it has been 4 months since my last post? Somehow, June slipped into July and the lazy days of summer grabbed me and put me in a daze...Our family lounged by the pool and we had dance parties until late at night. No child
“I have to love these days in the same way I love any other. There might not be a ‘normal’ from here on out,” she responds. “These days are days. We choose how we hold them.” ~ Nina Riggs As June falls away and summer lumbers on into the heat of
It has been 9 months today... 9 months since my bilateral mastectomy and my journey to a new life, a new body, a new mind, a new normal. I still cannot grasp that the person that looks back at me when I look in the mirror is me... and yet,