Day 52
Some days, I just want to forget.. escape. I don't want to write about my struggle, or talk to people about why I don't have hair. Sometimes, I just want to pretend that life is normal and that I am ok. It's denial, I guess. Just part of it, I suppose.
This weekend, I just wanted to bake Christmas cookies. I wanted to feel good and lick the batter from the beaters and lick my fingers clean after the cookies were in the oven.
We made cookies yesterday and frosted them today. I so often am CRAZY about the cookies being PERFECT and I remember in years past, I wouldn't even let Merus try, because I wanted them to be "pretty."
This year, I was just so happy to be DOING IT... and this morning, I let the girls go wild... it was a sweet delight... a Christmas tradition that makes me smile... Merus was just so happy, she kept hugging me.
Made me happier than I have been in so long.
11 more days 'til my last chemo. STILL PRAYING IT IS ENOUGH...
(If the cancer comes back, I guess we can blame it on my HUGE increase in sugar consumption over the past two days.... Christmas sugar cookie overload... Death by cookie)
It was worth it though... for these sweet girls and these sweet days..